about me, my book and my story
Hello, I'm Peter McDonnell.
I usually write articles and blog posts, (my most popular page here is my blog, click on the orange writing for a link to it Le Blog ) and I'm also hard at work on my first book. In some ways I'd love for my book to be about travel, fun times with family and I quite like science too (especially how the brain works). That's how it would be if I was writing about the last few years. But instead it's about the years from 2001 to 2014, going through hell and back and a dominant Messiah complex. It starts with 2001 to 2008 - Mental illness. Psychosis. Telepathic abilities. Hospitalisations. In 2005 I developed panic attacks and anxiety. I wish it was all simply much ado about nothing but my journey has been filled with intense experiences, experiences that I didn't have the wish to even think about until 2015, when I started writing my book. Stark (but ultimately uplifting) stuff, but I was lucky to have such an interesting story. I have met so many people in so many stages of mental illness - depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder...you name it. I work part time on a mental health ward now, and I've met a few people with similar stories to mine and I must admit our stories can be interesting and I enjoy listening and trying to help. Unfortunately we don't often share, but I have learned personally that sharing is usually helpful and it has certainly contributed to my recovery. The recovery process from 2008 was pretty fascinating, a true story of somehow overcoming such mind bendingly difficult obstacles, obstacles that I think about every day with gratitude for my family and supportive team that helped me through it. It was tough.
Though 90% recovered now, something I have worked hard at but am very grateful for, I used to be very interestingly wayward, with lots of psychosis and anxiety stories gathered over time, that I hope you can relate to. In day to day conversations I can be found sharing lots of anecdotes about my journey. I chat a lot about mental health and am proud and happy to.
I used to think I was the modern day Jesus. In 2004 I picked up panic attacks that turned into general anxiety. I had a slow but steady and consistent recovery that continues to this day. My recovery first went from bad to good, good to great, and now my journey with mental health continues to rise to the point where I'm really rather happy and well.
What is psychosis?
Psychosis is - 'A severe mental condition where thoughts and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality'
It is nothing to do with being psychopathic.
How my Psychosis Started
In 2001 I began developing cannabis induced psychosis with grandiose delusions. Being 2001, almost 2000 years exactly since Jesus was around, I fixated on that kind of thing. At times it was fantastic being the modern day Jesus but I was really quite unlucky - if it was in the year 2345 for example I don't think I would have been relating my new and amazing experiences with religion and my psychosis would have had less impact and been less severe. I became withdrawn from friends, preferring to talk 'telepathically' to my new celebrity friends on the TV. I had become "some sort of telepath" too, as I remember wording it to my first psychiatrist. Such a wasteful delusion to concern one's self with.
I later developed panic and anxiety issues. I have actually been quite lucky with the type of mental illness I had, having lots of stories about my intensely interesting illness to write about has been no less than a genuine pleasure. Like the time I took a train to The Ritz Hotel in London to meet with Britney Spears (who I had an imagined telepathic relationship with), room 213, wearing tatty clothes and roller blades. I was never even close to being a stalker, when trying to meet her (a few times) it was based on the voices in my head and I didn't ever try and find out out where she was in real terms, my imagined telepathy felt like plenty enough to guide me. She has no idea I exist.
Capturing and Sharing my Anxiety Stories
My book ends well with me being on top of my fears. It details my journey with many useful ideas and coping strategies to deal with anxiety and psychosis. I had lots of social fears back in the day, and also fears like flying in aeroplanes and being in long traffic jams, both a form of claustrophobia. In 2016 I went on an aeroplane for the first time in nearly 15 years and I quite enjoyed travelling at 400 mph in a 80 seater propeller aircraft. For the most part. I went to Holland in February 2017 for my cousin's wedding, and flew on the same sort of plane, and recently flew to Italy on an Airbus A321 - a medium sized jet plane. I have now learned that I can do short flights and be comfortable for most of it, but I've also learned that turbulence has the power to shake me to the core. This is an example of a 'first world problem'. It was my brother who once suggested looking at it as a first world problem, which felt a bit disrespectful at first, but looking at it like that made more and more sense and ended up really helping me!
The writing on this website is chiefly to entertain and inform, at times the anecdotes about my failing mental health are very funny, and it also serves well as a self help piece with lots of tips about coping with anxiety. There is an eye opening (and humble) inside view on psychosis too. I have detailed my journey to wellness in the hope that it can help others with similar anxiety/psychosis stories. I was once completely under the cosh of anxiety attacks, but I have put in the work to get better. What worked for me might work for lots of people.
Mental health and mental illness have found their way into mainstream media a bit recently. Ten years ago we didn't really discuss it at all, but now it seems that we are all about it and it is almost a hot topic.
GETTING HOLD OF MY BOOK
My book is very nearly there, but not yet published and unavailable to buy. I expect it to take a year or two to perhaps find a traditional publishing deal. If that fails I will self publish. If you want to buy it when it is available, please email me and I'll make a note and email you when you can buy it. As soon as it is published I will of course make it easy for you to buy via this website. In the meantime I hope you like the rest of my writing on this website.
I usually write articles and blog posts, (my most popular page here is my blog, click on the orange writing for a link to it Le Blog ) and I'm also hard at work on my first book. In some ways I'd love for my book to be about travel, fun times with family and I quite like science too (especially how the brain works). That's how it would be if I was writing about the last few years. But instead it's about the years from 2001 to 2014, going through hell and back and a dominant Messiah complex. It starts with 2001 to 2008 - Mental illness. Psychosis. Telepathic abilities. Hospitalisations. In 2005 I developed panic attacks and anxiety. I wish it was all simply much ado about nothing but my journey has been filled with intense experiences, experiences that I didn't have the wish to even think about until 2015, when I started writing my book. Stark (but ultimately uplifting) stuff, but I was lucky to have such an interesting story. I have met so many people in so many stages of mental illness - depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder...you name it. I work part time on a mental health ward now, and I've met a few people with similar stories to mine and I must admit our stories can be interesting and I enjoy listening and trying to help. Unfortunately we don't often share, but I have learned personally that sharing is usually helpful and it has certainly contributed to my recovery. The recovery process from 2008 was pretty fascinating, a true story of somehow overcoming such mind bendingly difficult obstacles, obstacles that I think about every day with gratitude for my family and supportive team that helped me through it. It was tough.
Though 90% recovered now, something I have worked hard at but am very grateful for, I used to be very interestingly wayward, with lots of psychosis and anxiety stories gathered over time, that I hope you can relate to. In day to day conversations I can be found sharing lots of anecdotes about my journey. I chat a lot about mental health and am proud and happy to.
I used to think I was the modern day Jesus. In 2004 I picked up panic attacks that turned into general anxiety. I had a slow but steady and consistent recovery that continues to this day. My recovery first went from bad to good, good to great, and now my journey with mental health continues to rise to the point where I'm really rather happy and well.
What is psychosis?
Psychosis is - 'A severe mental condition where thoughts and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality'
It is nothing to do with being psychopathic.
How my Psychosis Started
In 2001 I began developing cannabis induced psychosis with grandiose delusions. Being 2001, almost 2000 years exactly since Jesus was around, I fixated on that kind of thing. At times it was fantastic being the modern day Jesus but I was really quite unlucky - if it was in the year 2345 for example I don't think I would have been relating my new and amazing experiences with religion and my psychosis would have had less impact and been less severe. I became withdrawn from friends, preferring to talk 'telepathically' to my new celebrity friends on the TV. I had become "some sort of telepath" too, as I remember wording it to my first psychiatrist. Such a wasteful delusion to concern one's self with.
I later developed panic and anxiety issues. I have actually been quite lucky with the type of mental illness I had, having lots of stories about my intensely interesting illness to write about has been no less than a genuine pleasure. Like the time I took a train to The Ritz Hotel in London to meet with Britney Spears (who I had an imagined telepathic relationship with), room 213, wearing tatty clothes and roller blades. I was never even close to being a stalker, when trying to meet her (a few times) it was based on the voices in my head and I didn't ever try and find out out where she was in real terms, my imagined telepathy felt like plenty enough to guide me. She has no idea I exist.
Capturing and Sharing my Anxiety Stories
My book ends well with me being on top of my fears. It details my journey with many useful ideas and coping strategies to deal with anxiety and psychosis. I had lots of social fears back in the day, and also fears like flying in aeroplanes and being in long traffic jams, both a form of claustrophobia. In 2016 I went on an aeroplane for the first time in nearly 15 years and I quite enjoyed travelling at 400 mph in a 80 seater propeller aircraft. For the most part. I went to Holland in February 2017 for my cousin's wedding, and flew on the same sort of plane, and recently flew to Italy on an Airbus A321 - a medium sized jet plane. I have now learned that I can do short flights and be comfortable for most of it, but I've also learned that turbulence has the power to shake me to the core. This is an example of a 'first world problem'. It was my brother who once suggested looking at it as a first world problem, which felt a bit disrespectful at first, but looking at it like that made more and more sense and ended up really helping me!
The writing on this website is chiefly to entertain and inform, at times the anecdotes about my failing mental health are very funny, and it also serves well as a self help piece with lots of tips about coping with anxiety. There is an eye opening (and humble) inside view on psychosis too. I have detailed my journey to wellness in the hope that it can help others with similar anxiety/psychosis stories. I was once completely under the cosh of anxiety attacks, but I have put in the work to get better. What worked for me might work for lots of people.
Mental health and mental illness have found their way into mainstream media a bit recently. Ten years ago we didn't really discuss it at all, but now it seems that we are all about it and it is almost a hot topic.
GETTING HOLD OF MY BOOK
My book is very nearly there, but not yet published and unavailable to buy. I expect it to take a year or two to perhaps find a traditional publishing deal. If that fails I will self publish. If you want to buy it when it is available, please email me and I'll make a note and email you when you can buy it. As soon as it is published I will of course make it easy for you to buy via this website. In the meantime I hope you like the rest of my writing on this website.
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